Divorce


Divorce

    Practical information about the mechanism and logistics of divorce, as well as personal stories. The page is currently rather US-centric;

     

    Divorce Laws

     

Personal Stories

 

 


Coping with Divorce Issues

Deciding whether to divorce and then working through the emotional issues of a divorce (in addition to the legal and financial ones) takes time, energy, and coping skills. The following section offers some pointers to helping you and your family get through this time.

 

 

You are not alone, we are there is a mailing list for divorced women of Indian origin.
Sassy Pink Peppers is an upbeat social network, which introduces divorced women to other divorced women, in their own community and via the internet.

 

Marriage and Family Therapy

 

Mediation

 

Children and Divorce

 

Self-Help

 


Bookshelf

 

Newsclips/Articles

 

Nonfiction

  • Emerging Voices : South Asian American Women Redefine Self, Family and Community, edited by Sangeeta Gupta, 1999. Papers from a conference held in LA in 95, which include a chapter on marriage and divorce. [Review by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni in India Today] [Article about the conference on Rediff]
  • Incidence of Divorce among Indian Muslims, by MM Siddiqi.
  • Divorce and Muslim women. By S.A.H. Moinuddin, 2000.
  • The Impact of Divorce on Men and Women in India and The United States. Amato, P.R. Journal of Comparative Family Studies, 25, 207 (1994).
  • Divorce in Indian Society: A Sociological Study of Marriage Disruption and Role Adjustmen. by J.N. Choudhary. Printwell Publishers, Jaipur.
  • Family Law: Law of Marriage and Divorce in India, by Paras Diwan. Sterling, India, 1983.
  • Legal Rights of Hindu Women in Marriage and Divorce, by Rabia Bhuiyan. 1986. Can be ordered from Women for Women, 1/2 Sukrabad, Dhaka 1207, BANGLADESH.

 

Fiction

  • Aapka Banti, by Mannu Bhandari. One of the earliest books on this theme. Originally in Hindi, translated into English by Jai Rattan, 1983. The narrator is a child who tells us about his parents' divorce -- all the tensions, fights that go on, mother's relationship with another man, and neighbours' comments on his mother. It centers on divorce effects on a child, but is all about a man and woman going through divorce as well.
  • Ancient Promises, by Jaishree Misra. A semi-autobiographical story about a woman's journey of escape from an unpleasant marriage.
  • The Bride Wore Red, by Robbie Clipper Sethi. A collection of short stories, one of which -- 'Grace' -- is about an American woman married to a Sikh. Grace cannot handle her in-laws' constant intrusions into her privacy.
  • The Fire Sacrifice, by Susham Bedi. The protagonists' daughter, Atima, goes through tensions in her marriage and decides to separate.
  • The God of Small Things, by Arundhati Roy. Ammu, the twin's mother, is divorced from their father, and they live on sufferance in Ammu's family home. See the page about Roy for parallels with her life and her mother's, and Divorce in GOST, a page from Emory U.
  • Incantations, by Anjana Appachana. A collection of short stories, one of which is about an American woman who gets divorced because she cannot abide by her Indian in-laws' expectations.
  • Intimacy, by Hanif Kureishi. A chillingly candid description of/by a man walking out on his wife and children.
  • Love and Longing in Bombay, by Vikram Chandra. One story is about Sartaj Singh, a Bombay policeman who is going through a divorce.
  • A Matter of Time, by Shashi Deshpande
  • Memories of Rain, by Sunetra Gupta. The protagonist leaves her husband to go back to her native Calcutta.
  • My Feudal Lord, by Tehmina Durrani.
  • A New World, by Amit Chaudhuri. Jayojit Chatterjee, an Indian economist teaching at a university in the United States, is the central character. A year after his (nasty, involving a custody battle) divorce he returns to Calcutta with his young son, Vikram (nicknamed Bonny), to visit his parents for a few months... [Lots of reviews]
  • Paro, by Namita Gokhale. The title character has a divorce, and most of the book is set in Paro's single, post-divorce years.
  • Love, Stars and All That, by Kirin Narayan. This charming book features an Indian woman graduate student at Berkeley who survives marriage and divorce.
  • Sister of my heart, by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni. One of the main characters suffers oppression by her in-laws.
  • What was Always Hers, by Uma Parameswaran. The title story is about two women and a divorce.

 

Films

  • Astitva, directed by Mahesh Manjrekar Starring: Tabu, Sachin Khedekar, Mohnish Behl, Namrata Shirodkar.
  • A Nice Arrangement. Directed by Gurinder Chadha. Set in the London home of an Indian family on the morning of their daughter's wedding, A Nice Arrangement takes a wry look at the most prominent Indian obsession -- marriage. Meena, the young bride, changes into her traditional bridal gear with the help of her divorced friend, Sita. Together, the women explore why they chose to marry the "perfect" cultural choice for their parents.
  • Drown Soda, directed by Nisha Ganatra. deals with the life of a young girl, whose parents get divorced. Her father is Indian, mother is American. The mother has custody of their two children, and the father's interaction with his daughter is limited to a few arranged meetings, making it a traumatic experience for both. The film goes on to show the father and daughter rebuild their relationship. [The director's own website]

 

Divorce Statistics

  • Divorce statistics in India. Data gathered from the Indian Census including the '91 census.
  • Divorce Statistics in America from the Americans for Divorce Reform, a group that is dedicated to eradicating 'no-fault' divorce and wants to make it harder to divorce.
  • In Sri Lanka, 0.15 of 1000 marriages end in divorce. From The Miami Herald, 1998.
  • Divorce on the rise among IT professionals in India, according to the Times of India, 23 Dec 2000. (no stats, though).
  • 5000 divorces in Haryana each year, (out of a population of 17 million). According to the Tribune, (12 Dec 2000) this is the highest rate in India.
  • Check the United Nations Demographic Yearbook. Also Report on the World Social Situation.
  • Divorce statistics for the US, and some dubious world statistics

 

Links

 

 


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